Friday, 14th February 2025
Love has different meanings to everyone.
On Valentine’s Day, we reflect on ‘love’ in the context of palliative care, acknowledging that this is the logo of palliative care peaks across Australia and share some insights written by Gemini Adams, who completed a Winston Churchill Trust Fellowship in 2006 on “The role of love in palliative care”.
Love has different meanings to everyone.
It is vital that the subject of love is discussed within palliative care communities. in small care teams it is important that the group learns what love represents to each of the individuals within their relationships and religions.
Everyone has a different capacity and understanding of love. When individuals have a negative concept or experience of love, this can be improved through training, discussion, support and practice.
Love comes in many forms and can be expressed in many ways. Love works miracles, hence why God and love are frequently perceived as synonymous. Yet as human beings we frequently find that to love is the hardest task of all. But love is the one thing we seek above all else. It doesn’t matter whether we are healthy and happy, or ill, depressed and lonely. Love is our fuel. We need it to survive and if we receive it in abundance we thrive. It doesn’t matter what age we are, our need for love never dies.
I came across the following prayer on my travels. Sixteen-year-old Emily (the author) does a wonderful job of illuminating the role that love plays in allaying her fears and loneliness and how the love of another helped her to feel strong, protected, safe, connected and not alone.
A Child’s Prayer
Will you hug me mummy?
Will you wrap me in your arms
And press your face to mine
And whisper happy memories in my ear.
For when shadows dance around me
And I feel alone in the dark,
I need to recall your gentle touch
And know that you are near.
Will you hold me Daddy?
Will you take my hand
And weave strong fingers into mine,
And tell me how you love me.
For when the monsters invade my dreams
And I feel helpless and afraid,
I need to remember your powerful hands
And feel your strong protection.
Emily (Aged 16)
Within this prayer, Emily unknowingly pinpoints the key emotional challenges faced by those in palliative care. Being a child and having a terminal or long- term illness has many similarities. There is a strong need for physical touch and connection. A desire to be protected against the unknown, a need to have familiar faces close by. A desire to have fears of loneliness and a sense of helplessness dispelled. As Emily notes all of these fears and negative emotions can be cured with love. Whether it be the loving presence, action or embrace of another.
Read Gemini Adams full Winston Churchill Trust Fellowship Report: https://media.churchillfellowship.org/documents/Adams_G_Report_2006_Final.pdf
Gemini Adams is also the author of Your legacy of Love: Realize the Gift of Goodbye
This book will be available for PCSA Members to borrow from the PCSA Library from March, contact hello@palliativecaresa.org.au for more details.